Not Easy

The past couple of days have not been easy. Not that I expect less than two weeks after having and loosing a baby to be easy. I miss my Isaac so much it hurts. Physically I'm ok. Probably where I should be at this point postpartum. My body is still pretty sore at times and I tend to overdo it sometimes simply because I don't have a newborn to constantly remind me to lay low. Emotionally though I feel like I have been a mess. I don't know what I want or much less what I need from one minute to the next. I want so badly to just jump back into things the way they were before I had Isaac, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to do it. Postpartum hormones mixed with grieving is just not a good combination as I was warned it would not be. I'm not sharing this so any of you will worry about me or feel sorry for me. I'm simply sharing with the thought that there may be someone reading this going through a similar situation and I want them to know they are not alone during both the good and bad days. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband that loves me enough to tell me what I need when my mind isn't clear enough to know. I praise the Lord each day for the support system that he has provided us with during this time. I'm ok, I really am. I'm just sad and that's ok.

I love this picture of me and Isaac. I just love how his little hand is up on my chest and he's holding onto me. He never opened his eyes, but he knew his mommy was holding him and he knew that I love him sooo much!