Peaceful Tears

I know it has been a while since I have written a new post.  I said at the beginning of this blog that I wanted to be as transparent as possible.  We have been dealing with some issues the past month or so that couldn’t be shared in the open until now.  Therefore, I felt it best that I not blog because I wouldn’t be able to share my true heart with you.  Now I can openly share so here we go…

Because of the fact that I have been in church since I was just a few months old I have seen my share of church drama.  I have seen church staff and their families have their hearts broken.  Jonathan and I were told by our mentors that as unfortunate as it may be, being in the ministry many times involves getting hurt at one time or another.  After all, we are all sinners.  Just like anything though, you don’t really understand the extent of something until you walk through it yourself.

412 Community Church has been our home, our family for 3 years.  I would be lying if I said it’s been all roses, but we knew that God had us there for a purpose.  For His purpose.  We have always had a peace about where we were.  Even when I was unsure of how things looked on paper and the skeptic side of me would creep in; my wonderful husband would remind me Who called us to where we were.  Over the past month we have been tested more than we ever imagined we would be. 

James 4:17 states “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”   My husband and our family’s integrity has been tested multiple times in the past month.  What appeared to be the “easy” and maybe even the “smart” path for us we knew was not the “right thing.”  Every decision that was made and every conversation that was had was with the mindset of what was best for 412 and what was going to be most God honoring.  Our prayer as a family has always been that the Lord would make his will clear to us.  About a week ago God made it very clear to us that 412 is no longer where we are supposed to be.  Because of this Jonathan resigned as Worship Pastor on Sunday. 

The past month has not been easy and it has hurt worse than I could have imagined, but do I regret one moment of the past 3 years?  Not one bit.  Jonathan and I are not perfect and we have made mistakes, but I believe that our hearts have always been to glorify God and to love the people at 412.  Our future is uncertain at the moment, but only to us for God has it under control.  He has given us an incredible amount of peace and we are excited about what he has in store for us.  He has already opened doors that we didn’t even know existed.  Many of you know that I am a stay at home mom and may be thinking “what about finances?”  Please don’t worry about us.  We are taken care of in that area.  God is good.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long post.  I just needed to share what has been on my heart for a while.  This was also one of the best ways I could think of to communicate with some friends and family that I may not have the opportunity to speak to very often.  I love you all and please feel free to contact me for clarifications about anything that was said.