Blessed Beyond Imagination

I remember it so vividly.  I was in the car with my mom and I remember exactly what road we were on.  It was probably about a week after Isaac had been born.  I was looking out the window thinking back over all the events of the past week.  Everything just seemed so surreal.  The incredible joy of giving birth to our son and holding him for the first time, combined with the overwhelming sadness of holding him for the last time and kissing him goodbye.  I remember in that moment asking God why me?  Why did you choose to bless me so much with this priceless gift that we had chosen to name Isaac.  What made me deserve to be a part of something so big, so amazing?  My heart was so full of thankfulness.  All of the sudden I realized what I was saying.  I realized that, by worldly standards, in that moment that I should have been angry and asking "why me" in a whole different light.  Not only had the Lord blessed me with Isaac, but he had blessed me with a peace beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  I would be lying to say that I haven't had my moments of anger this past year.  I have had MANY times that I miss my baby boy so much it hurts. God is so good and I have felt His presence every step of the way.

When I was pregnant with Isaac several people sent us the lyrics to the song "Blessings" by Laura Story.  I remember thinking it was very pretty and the lyrics were great, but the past week when I heard it at church it gripped my heart in a way I never expected.  I am so thankful for the incredible songwriters that let the Lord speak through their music.  This song describes my feelings about how blessed I am to be our sweet Isaac's Mommy.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise