A SPECIAL THANK YOU!

This blog is being posted by Jonathan (Kacie's Husband)

We just wanted to send out a special "thanks" to all who came out to Isaac's memorial service today. The amount of people who showed up to support us blew our minds. It was a wonderful time together as we celebrated Isaac's life, but more importantly we celebrated God's faithfulness and sovereignty.  Kacie and I hope that Isaac's life would continue to bless you, to draw you closer to Christ, and to display His glory and His faithfulness. Many of you have asked how we are doing, and I know many of you expect us to be extremely sad and grieving. Just so you know we are sad and we are grieving the loss of our precious son. However, the joy and excitement that we have experienced over the last 4 days, and truly over the last 33 weeks, has by far outweighed the sadness and grief.

We are honored to share Isaac's life with you - so please take a few minutes to watch the following video of Isaac's story. We hope that God touches you through him like he has us.

Expectations

I am a people pleaser. When I think someone is unhappy with me my stomach is in knots and I just feel sick. The past 18 weeks have been no different because although my world has been turned upside down,I am still me. That desire to please everyone, especially those closest to me is still very present. It has been the biggest balancing act ever! I haven't wanted people to be worried about me or to be sad when I might not have even been sad myself, but I have wanted to be genuine with my feelings. I feel like some people have expected me to be sad all the time, while other's expect me to be constantly "strong" and begin to worry if I have a bad day. I feel like some people think the only emotion associated with Isaac is sadness. This is not true for me. He has and will bring me much joy, although I know much sadness will be involved as well. He is just as much my baby as Kadynce is and I love him so very much. I love it when people talk about him like a "normal" baby and don't focus on everything he has wrong.

I know some of you are probably thinking "my goodness, why does she worry so much about what other's think or say?". The truth is I know I shouldn't as much as I do, but that is just me. I think part of it is that I have wanted to handle this in the way that God will get the most glory. I have had so many people tell me how good of a witness I have been or how they have been impressed at my strength. That means so much to me, but it makes me wonder if I had handled things any differently or had not been "strong" would that have made me any less of a witness for the Lord?

A sweet friend told me not too long ago that if I wanted to run in the street naked I could and that she would not judge me because she has never been where I am and has no idea how she would react. Don't worry I have another dear friend that said under no circumstances would she let me do that :). This meant a lot to me though because she was acknowledging that since she has never been where I am, there is no way she will know how I feel. There have been days when people have told me they have no idea what to say to me, but they just wanted to let me know that they love me. That has meant the world to me.

I am scared and I am tired, but I am also very much looking forward to meeting our sweet Isaac. I really have no idea what the next couple of months (I am currently 33 weeks) are going to look like. I do know that God is good. While I will continue to try to handle each day as gracefully as I know how it is ok for me to be weak. I know that ultimately I will get through this because of the strength the Lord gives me, but that does not mean that I can't have bad or "weak" days. It is also ok for me to be happy and to "forget" about trisomy 13 from time to time and just enjoy my baby. I have family and friends that have helped me come to the realization that the Lord gives us others to lean on and to help us through the hard times. Trying to meet everyone's expectations is beginning to drain me. In the coming weeks I am going to have to focus on our immediate family and what is best for us. I know that everyone is not going to agree with every decision we make and it will be hard, but we're doing the best we know how.

Thank you so much to our faithful prayer warriors. We appreciate each one of you so much! Also thank you for the calls, text messages, and sweet cards full of encouragement. We feel very loved and blessed.

Colorado day 6!

Today was our last day before heading back to Greenville to stay with my parents and pick up Bella. We loaded up this morning said goodbye to the beautiful Rockies. This was the view from the front of the campground as we were leaving.


We made it back to my Grandparent's just in time for lunch. Grandmamma had made roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, Mac n cheese, rolls, and dump cake! It was soooooo yummy! Kadynce skipped her afternoon nap since she slept in the car this morning. She rode in the golf cart with Granddaddy for what seemed like hours. She did not want to get out as you can tell in this picture.


They stopped by the river to say hi to the rafters.



We had a good last dinner all together.


We are so thankful to Grandmamma and Granddaddy for allowing us to use their car, truck, and RV this week. Not to mention feeding us and loving on us and Kadynce. Such sweet memories were made and we will cherish them forever!

Colorado day 5!

This morning we ate at "Fruit Shake" again. It was just so good and fresh and I really wanted to try one of their smoothies. After breakfast we walked around downtown going in and out of little shops. I had to take frequent breaks to sit because walking in this altitude is a little hard right now, but it was a lot of fun.



We had lunch at a place that Uncle Perry and Aunt Karen recommend called "Poppy's". It was yummy and had a great view of the river.


Kadynce being a Moose by the river.


After naptime we decided to stay at the campground for the evening. We roasted hot dogs for dinner, then had root beer floats provided by the camp. They were a HUGE hit with Kadynce. I looked away for a few seconds and when I looked back she was pouring it into her mouth and all over her shirt! We couldn't stop laughing!






The theme of the campground is Yogi bear so we just had to take this picture for Uncle Boo Boo before we went in for the night.

Colorado day 4: Rocky Mountain National Park

This morning we got up and had breakfast at a place called "Fruit Shake". They have all sorts of smoothies, bagels, and wraps. We got Kadynce a frozen yogurt/granola/fruit parfait thinking she would love it. I mean it was basically like having ice cream for breakfast. Nope. She wanted Daddy's breakfast burrito so Mommy and Daddy shared the parfait ;)


Next we headed to Rocky Mountain National Park. We stopped at the first visitors center and asked what we should do. We were clueless and that place is HUGE! She gave us several good options and we chose to go on a 50 mile drive (one way) through the mountains and Moose country to Grand Lake. We drove up all the way to 12000 ft at one point! We stopped at a little pond to have lunch and there just happened to be a MOOSE eating there too!






A little down the road we saw 2 more and then another one on our way back. So we saw a total of 4 moose today (or Moof as Kadynce says). We were really excited. It took us a total of about 3 hours to reach the lake and Kadynce was very excited to get out and run around.


It was beautiful and we were very glad we chose that drive. It only took us about an hour and a half to get back "home" since we didn't stop as much. This evening we enjoyed sitting outside the RV for a little while before going to town for dinner.


We're now watching a little Toy Story 2 before bed!



We had such a good day enjoying God's beautiful creation.

Colorado day 3!

Today was a day of mostly packing up and traveling. Kadynce was in a MUCH better mood today. We spent the morning just playing outside and riding around in the golf cart. After a delicious lunch fixed by Grandmamma we headed out. It took about 4 hours to get to our destination.






When we got here it was raining pretty hard and continued to on and off the rest of the evening so we didn't get to explore too much, but our campsite is really nice. We went into town and had a burger and now we're watching Toy Story! It was a good day :)

Colorado day 2!

We had another great day! Although Kadynce threw one fit after another. I think it's a mixture of not getting enough sleep and being a little spoiled. I feel like discipline is so hard at this age. I don't want to be too hard on her, but having a complete meltdown at every meal and anytime we say "no" just isn't going to cut it. So.... If any of you Mommies out there have suggestions feel free to share ;)

Back to out trip... We really did have a fun day. After sleeping in a little and a wonderful breakfast we headed out to do some fishing. Granddaddy caught 2 and Jonathan and I each caught 1. We were there almost 3 hours and Kadynce had a lot of fun running around, chasing the ducks away, and playing with Grandmamma.









This evening we ate at one of my favorite restaurants, Quincy's. It was just as delicious as always. I love me some steak!!!! After dinner we went to the park and got some ice cream.





We are so thankful to have this sweet time to enjoy being with family and making precious memories. Tomorrow we head out to our next stop where just the three of us will camp in the RV for a few days.